How to get over a fear of success.

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In order for me to write about fear I have to reveal a little about my journey.

I honestly didn't think I had an issue with success. Until I had an interesting conversation with a friend. She looked at me and said, "You give so much, that I don't think you value yourself enough."

My honest expression was "Huh?" 

So I sat with this comment and let it marinate within my mind. I didn't defend or deny it, I just reflected. Then I realized that what I didn't value was my success

Whoa... stop the press! How did I get to this place in my life? I had a real "aha" moment. I literally sabotaged myself to fail because success seemed too good for me.

Success is a belief, long before it becomes a reality. Yet it’s in that hallowed place of inception that we fear the delivery. Let fear pass, breathe and deliver. You are meant to succeed!
— Ho'omālamalama

So many thoughts streamed into my mind and I did the only thing possible, I wrote my thoughts and feelings down in my MAKE MAHALO PLANNER. [Mahalo: Hawaiian for gratitude or thank you.]

Pen in hand, I began a stream of conscious writing, a technique I learned from a good friend. This flow lasted for a solid five minutes. As I gazed down at my writing it revealed some of my inner struggles. It was as if my subconscious finally had my attention.

So if you're dealing with lack of self-respect, inability to charge for your services or constantly wondering... "What happened to my goals and dreams?" This post is for all of us. I too had a fear of success that prevented me from reaching my potential.

The 12 questions are from my personal experience. 

Notate any feelings or emotions that may arise. Have an open mind and willingness to finish the entire post. Trust me, this blog gets better towards the end.

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If you answered "YES" to any of these don't feel bad.

Like I said earlier these were written from personal experience. Look at the list without judgement but empathy. The same kindness that you would show to a friend, become that friend. Maybe pause and give yourself a hug for being brave enough to read the entire list. [BIG HUG]

Now if you've reached this portion and feel alone and overwhelmed, don't be. I can help in three ways. First, continue to read through the end of this blogpost for the 12 Steps to an abundant mindset. Second, read the eBook I wrote called WALK IN BEAUTY; unlock your potential. Third, become a MERMAID; join my email list because there's a possibility that you can work with me. 

12 Steps to an abundant mindset.

  1. Be excited when starting something new and break down your plan into smaller steps. Sometimes we give up mid-way because the excitement can make us feel overwhelmed. Take time to write down your idea and create simple task.

  2. STOP comparing yourself! That's one of the worse things any human being can do. There's a saying in my home, "Your only competition is  NO-ONE, just be your best!"

  3. You don't have to start every project that comes to your creative mind. Get a box and label it IDEAS then write them down with a date. Honor your creativity but don't get distracted. Have a place to revisit your ideas when you've completed what you started. 

  4. Learn to say NO. Abundance doesn't mean that you're saying yes to everyone. Reserve some time in the day to honor your wellness. You can not reverse time but you can spend it wisely.

  5. Be cautious. Before you promote someone's product, fundraiser or Facebook page consider if they're doing the same for you? This also applies to love. Do you receive love, at the same measure or more that you give it. [Lessons of LOVE are in my eBook.]

  6. You can not give from an empty cup. Make a habit of self-care and schedule it weekly. Abundance is a reflection of your inner and exterior health.

  7. Create rituals of motivation. It can be centered around your spiritual practice or keeping a gratitude journal. Because there will come a time when you have to draw from a well of inspiration. Make sure that you're filling that well, your mind, with good thoughts.

  8. When feeling mundane... acknowledge it and do step #7. An abundant mind isn't void of sorrow or mishaps but it is equipped with tools of inspiration.

  9. When you realize that success made a detour don't stress out. History is jammed packed with individuals who met with opposition after opposition. Borrow their stories and use it to help you realign, adjust and reimagine your dream.

  10. Allow yourself to experience simple successes. It will help rebuild your self confidence and eventually you will step into fulfilling that previous dream. [For some it can be loosing a few inches or learning to play the piano.]

  11. Breathe. The opposite of fear is love and abundance. You can not change what you will not acknowledge. This awakening will allow you to embrace success. Your success!

  12. Failure is an indication that your dream is closer then you think. Keep moving, you'll get there. Just remember that you can always ask for help.       

Are you at a place in your life that you need a coach to reach the next level of success? Become a MERMAID to learn more about our programs.

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The benefits of working with a me is that you don't have to remember everything you just read. I'm creating eCourses, eBooks and programs for work/life balance. If you invest the time I will invest my attention to walking with you. Make sure you're a MERMAID. 

More about MAKE MAHALO planners click here.

Learn about JOURNALs and writing as a holistic practice click here.

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Habits and Rituals

HABITS: trained to do.

RITUAL: habit with heart.

Habits are always happening regardless of them being negative or positive. It becomes a part of our daily lives and we might not even notice our habits. Like the way you hold a pen, where you place your keys or how often you drink water. Even sloppiness can turn into a habit.

Rituals, however are significant because it allows you to take a habit and make it soulful. By adding a few elements you can boost a mundane activity and turn it into "Marvelous!" 

Turn mundane into Marvelous
— Ho'omālamalama
 

Living Holistic

Living holistic is facing everyday challenges with the knowledge that you are creating a legacy. Everything you do today matters. There aren't coincidences because your life is filled with purpose which will guide you from the depths of your subconscious. That's why it's important to create a lifestyle that will support your subconscious. That's the holistic way of living. 

People who practice holistic living have one thing in common... harmony. The feeling that what you put out into the universe is full of beauty and light. These type of people are realist with a twist. The twist is that they may see negativity but they refuse to project it. I speaking from experience. 

Recently I was hanging out with a friend, whom I haven't seen in ages, and we both appreciate holistic, organic and entrepreneurship. My meet-up was interesting because her conversation was filled with frustration, dislike[s] and obscurities about our current president. Now I live in the same country and community which makes her realities mine. She wanted me to jump on the bashing bandwagon but I couldn't. [WHY?] I choose to emulate light. It's a tough road but worth it since I live with little to no regrets. 

5 KEYS TO UNLOCK YOUR HOLISTIC LIFESTYLE

  1. Observe what is around you.

  2. Write what you see into two columns: Like & Dislike

  3. Break down the 'Dislike' into two separate list: Change & Unchangeable

  4. Take the 'Unchangeable' list and LET IT GO.

  5. Use the 'Change' list and turn them into task. Tackle one task at a time. 

Holistic living is a daily and active choice, made by the courageous.
— Ho'omalamalama

About a year ago I wrote an article and taught others how to create a space for their subconscious to thrive. You can read about that experience here. The benefits come over time and you might not even notice it at first. I really enjoy teaching others how to accomplish "Subconscious Curating."

 
 
 
 
 
  • What type of habits are you proud of?

  • What rituals have you created?

  • Would you like to start a NEW habit or ritual?

Grab the free printable and start tracking your success, click here.

 

8 Characteristics of BEAUTY

The secret that will...  

Unlock your potential and give you wings to soar over obstacles.

I grew up believing that Beauty was a physical feature you were born with. Than I became a young adult and was convinced Beauty was in the soul of a grateful human being. However this changed when I met someone who shared a profound insight that I reveal in my ebook.   

I pondered for twenty years [yes 20 years] thinking about this question, "How do I walk in beauty?" In the mean time I traveled the world teaching Polynesian performing arts, working in cultural and holistic careers but never forgetting those words, "Walk In Beauty." In all honesty I was compelled and inspired to write my observations into a book from 1995 to 2001 but I couldn't. 

Eventually I got married and had a few kamali'i - little ones in Hawaiian language. By a few I mean seven [yes 7 children] who were about a year to two years apart. Motherhood and my career as a holistic fitness instructor kept me busy but when my oldest daughter was about to turn thirteen I remembered a previous endeavor. To write, edit and publish, "Walk In Beauty." After all, thirteen is a huge step away from childhood and my baby/big girl would need this book.  

So in 2016, during a year of extreme hardships [I'm saving that for another day] I decided to buckle down and write. The goal was to create a manual that would unravel Beauty's Secrets while combining creativity and self expression [aka: journaling]. I published it on March 15, 2017 on my youngest son's fourth birthday. Through much prayer and a bunch of edits the 5-Realms of Beauty existed in the form of a mobile friendly ebook.  



After publishing the book I started to define characteristics that seem flow among each and every realm. I picked out eight that really stood out to me. It was kind of a checklist for "Walk In Beauty" or what I call the WIB-Checklist.

Which of these 8 characteristics do you identify with?  

  • Self-Love: the ability to care for and nurture yourself.

  • Infectious Joy: happiness comes from within you, you manufacture joy.

  • Peaceful Mindset: because your foundation is built on self-love you can weather life.

  • Patient: time is a teacher and the journey is more important than the destination.

  • Kind Nature: because kindness is the most attractive commodity in any culture.

  • Consistent: diligence and perseverance are key factors in everything you do.

  • Self-Mastery: the number one attribute and this is why you walk in beauty.

  • Harmony: maintaining a sense of community in every arena of your life.    

I'll leave you with a little bit of my daily holistic practice of art-journaling. PEACE Be the Journey.